Its a new year and apparently a new me. I saw in the new years' evening in true 09 style - sitting at home with a pint of Bulmers, chocolate and an old movie musical (Easter Parade to be specific - damn Fred Astaire was a dancing god!)

New Years day I decided to put on a pretty frock and try and change my energy for the new year. I attended what I think next year will be Perth's most popular event - Marquee.

It was fabulously organised by the event planners, professional misconduct. The food was fab, the drinks were flowing and it was the perfect mix of cool and casual.

I attended with two of my closest friends and two other girls, who both turned out to be lovely. So we arrived fashionably late and started to sample the food and get our drink on.

The day FLEW and pretty soon it was 5pm and I was introduced to someone who I felt was kinda cute (and quite funny - take note men, a sense of humour will get you far!).

So to cut a long story short, mainly because I don't remember the middle of the tale, I ended up home with a strange man - and had myself a lovely little one night stand.

Now the next day is never good, especially if the beer/wine/champagne goggles you were wearing the day before have worn off. But bless his little cotton socks, said man did what I feel is the BEST thing - he got up early, mentioned heading off to work, and removed himself from the premise.

Now I know not all women would be pleased with this development but me I am a realistic girl. I understand that if you meet a guy, get supremely drunk and take him home that night 9 times out of 10 what you have isn't true love. It is a combination of drink, hormones and the need for human connection which results in sex and the awkward aftermath of the next morning.

So again I reiterate that I was so relieved that he was polite enough to make himself scarce.

The one part I was a little disappointed with was the fact that he felt obligated to pretend he was going to call, and asking for my number. I am also disappointed in myself for giving it to him, i blame part of it on the fact that I was still about 80% asleep and unable to think on my feet and I also blame on my ego.

Yes the ego, in the situation of the one night stand there is no place for ego. My ego secretly hopes that I am so fabulous in bed that he has to call, and that I am so brilliantly funny and charming that once sampled I must be possessed.

In reality I may not have best represented myself, I was probably quite confrontational, a habit of mine when I drink. I also tend to think that I am smarter than everyone when I have a little bit too much, which, yes I am aware, is not the most attractive trait. (As an aside I am pretty smart so its not completely untrue - ha)

So back to the matter of my ego, it is slightly bruised that I didn't get a call, not because I saw this guy as a potential love. In all honesty we don't have anything in common, but because I am not as fabulous in real life as I am in my head.

So with that in mind I have now prepared my rules for a one night stand (in the hopes that I can try them out in the near future) and make the situation as painless and enjoyable as possible.

1) Make sure it is someone you don't know, or at least someone who is not a part of your group of friends - nothing is as awkward as having to hang out with someone who has seen you naked once but no longer does (or wants to).

2) No last names, it is too tempting to have a sneaky peek on facebook, myspace etc.

3) No phone numbers - don't give them yours, don't get theirs - it just drags out the situation that is only meant to last one night, and gives the whole situation a false hope.

4) Leave before they wake up properly, or alternatively make sure they leave EARLY - the morning after is awkward, avoid it at all costs.

5) Don't make empty promises/statements and don't fish for them. You aren't soul mates, you won't be seeing each other soon etc

6) Enjoy it! Its supposed to be fun.

7) BE SAFE - this is a golen rule, for any kinda hook up, it should go without saying. This rule is two fold, if you can help it don't go somewhere you are not comfortable (for example if he's a rugby player I suggest you don't go back to the team rooms - seriously not a good idea). Go somewhere neutral if possible. And the second part use protection - duh! You don't know him/her, you have no idea where they have been.

So to conclude: 2010 started with a bang (I love puns don't you) and I hope it is a sign that this year is going to be filled with fun and exciting times and less stress and anxiety.

Hope you all had a great and safe new year.

Remember you don't mess with mighty mouse (but if you do please leave before the sun hits my pillow xox)

Where have all the hot men gone?

So as a single lady I tend to be quite aware of men. You never know when a cute guy will walk buy and it is important to get as much eye candy as I can - as it helps keep me warm through the long lonely nights - ha!

What I have noticed of late in that Perth is suffering from a seriously lack of hotties, well at least all the places I frequent, seem to be devoid of talent.

So in light of this I decided yesterday while I was shopping to venture outside of my normal shopping zones and explore the greater metro area in search of a lamp, a shower head and some hot men.

The first place on my itinerary was the Ikea megastore in Innaloo. This place was a bust - number one it is so jam packed full of people that it is hard to breath, two it is hard to look for hot men when you are really busy trying to decide which lamp to get (there are so many), and three it is couple mecca - any hot guys there are with their wives/partners/life partners etc.

Moving on, lamp in tow, I was now fully focused on scoping men (and a new shower head as mine had sucummed to CLR). With this in mind I heading to Bunnings warehouse in Innaloo. I walked through the giant green entry way and seemed to have stumbled upon a hot bed of sexy men - so this is where they have been hiding! I got my shower head and spent the next 30 minutes wandering around checking out the talent in the hopes that I could discover just who these hotties were. Here is what I discovered:

1) some of them work there, they have a sexiness about them as working at Bunnings is a manly job, it makes them seem capable and like they could fix your leaking tap or toilet if it is on the fritz. Add that to the fact that they have a dress code, and therefore are relatively clean cut and presentable and you are onto a winner.

2) Some are just visiting to pick up tools, items for the house, advice etc These guys are sexy for many reasons, they probably own a home or at least rent one (since they are looking for items to fix up one), they are handy (see above), many of them are tradies who have come in to pick up supplies (very hot), and they (for the most part) seem to exude a mannish charm that you don't find wandering around the shopping malls. The only downside to this group is there is a high chance that there is a lady waiting at home, but considering this was an excursion for eye candy I think we can ignore that fact.

So ladies my advice for you if you are looking for something hot to look at and you don't really want to loose an eye from staring at the sun - head to a hardware store - it is an uptapped resource of handy sexy men... The search will continue next weekend, right now I am off to Bunnings to buy a....hell I will think of soemthing when I get there I am sure.

Remember you don't want to mess with mighty mouse...xox

Welcome to the jungle of blogging

So I did it - finally...I started a blog.
This is something that was a gonna for a while now, so it is satisfying that I have actually put my arse in gear and set it up.

Speaking of ones' rear end...that is a nice segway into my topic for today.

There is something that I have been noticing for a while now, it crept up on us but now it seems like there is no stopping it....I am talking about TIGHTS WORN AS PANTS.

Since there is no stopping this snowball as it has gathered too much speed on its descent (to a violent and bloody death I predict) I have thought up a few rules that one MUST abide in order to prevent from being a total fashion victim. They are as follows:

1)
Don't try this if you are over a size 10 (12 if you are tall with good proportions) . I don't care what people tell you if you are chunky don't try it - you will look like a whale. Sorry girls but it had to be said.

2)
Shorties (as in those under 5'3" rather than the African American slang for girl) this look can be risky - personally I am 5'2" and this look is a no go for me as it makes my legs look extra short. If you are short and want to go for it - wear it with the loose, long over shirt or cute dress as this will hide where your legs end and butt begins and make you appear like you have lovely long pins!

3)
FOR GOODNESS SAKE MAKE SURE YOU ARE ACTUALLY WEARING TIGHTS! This one is a shocker - I don't know how many girls I have seen wearing opaque stockings instead of tights. Want to know the difference? If they have control tops and a gusset then they are stockings and should under no circumstances be worn as pants. It is tacky and quite frankly makes you look like you are a crazy who forgot to put a skirt/shorts before walking out the door. Say it with me now - TIGHTS TIGHTS TIGHTS!

4)
Think of your tights like pants, and spend accordingly. If you are going to be using tights to protect you from the elements (and pervy men) make sure they are of a good quality, material blend and thickness - spend a bit more money and it will pay off. An excellent pair of jeans will often set you back some $$ - so will an excellent pair of tights.

5)
Patterns and colours - I am a colour girl, I love patterns, prints and bright colours, so I personally don't feel like tights should be limited to black and darker tones. However if you are wearing tights as pants - and they are a bold pattern/colour - make sure you check out your butt in the mirror before walking out the door. What looks good on your calves may not look so hot stretched out over your ass. Also remember that if you are feeling less than hot stick to a single colour in a dark tone preferably - there is a reason why black is a staple in every woman's wardrobe - it makes you look good people.

Aside from that have fun - fashion should be an expression of who you are - in the immortal words of Groove Armada ' if everybody looked the same we would get tired of looking at each other' so work your individuality.

Until next time, remember you don't want to mess with Mighty Mouse...